KS3 · English

Writing an opening hook

Before anything has happened in a story, you can already feel it: calm, creepy, tense. The writer has only had a few lines. So how do they do that?

English · Writing fiction

Feel the mood, then find what made it

This opening is invented, and built to feel tense. Read it once, then tap each underlined part to see what the writer is doing.

The kitchen clock ticked like a tap dripping in an empty house.

Maya stood at one end of the table. Her brother stood at the other. Between them sat one empty chair.

"Mum said you—" Maya began.

"I don't care what she said." Jonas kept his eyes on the floor, his arms folded tight across his chest.

"But if you'd just let me—"

"No." His eyes flicked to the empty chair, then away.

Maya's fingers pressed white against the table's edge. Neither of them reached for the empty chair.

An invented opening, written for this lesson

Tap an underlined phrase and read the teacher’s note beside it.

Reading “ticked like a tap dripping in an empty house”

Simile

What to notice

Is a clock really a tap? No. Two unlike things are compared, using the word “like”.

Effect

Slow dripping in an empty house sounds lonely and a bit uneasy. You can hear the mood before anyone has said a word.

Focused phrase “ticked like a tap dripping in an empty house”. technique Simile. Is a clock really a tap? No. Two unlike things are compared, using the word “like”.. effect: Slow dripping in an empty house sounds lonely and a bit uneasy. You can hear the mood before anyone has said a word.

English · Writing fiction

What is an opening actually for?

You have just read the Maya and Jonas opening. The start of a story is called the exposition.

Which is closest to what you think the start of a story is for?

It introduces the characters and tells us about their backstories.It sets up the setting, characters and atmosphere, builds emotion and might hint at the central conflict.It is where the central conflict happens.It describes the place where the story happens.

How sure are you?

I'm sureI think soI'm guessing

It introduces the characters and tells us about their backstories.

This is a common misconception

Tempting, because meeting the characters is part of it. But the exposition is not only designed to do that. It also builds the atmosphere, sets up the emotion and might foreshadow the central conflict. Maya and Jonas get no backstory at all, and you still felt the tension.

It sets up the setting, characters and atmosphere, builds emotion and might hint at the central conflict.

This matches the evidence

Yes, that is the whole job. The kitchen, the two characters and the tense mood were all set up in a few lines, with a hint that something has gone wrong between them.

It is where the central conflict happens.

This is a common misconception

Not quite. An opening might foreshadow what the central conflict is going to be, which is a hint rather than the conflict itself. Maya and Jonas hint at a falling-out; the opening does not have to play it out.

It describes the place where the story happens.

This is a common misconception

The setting matters, but it is only one of the things the exposition sets up, alongside the characters and the atmosphere. A kitchen on its own wouldn’t have given you tension.

An opening sets a mood the reader can feel. Introducing the characters is only part of its job.

From familiar to original

The familiar versionvsThe crafted version

Same comparison, crafted. Read across each row.

Focus

The simile

The familiar version

as cold as ice

The crafted version

as cold as thin, grey ice cracking underfoot

The insight

The crafted version still begins with ice. Using an existing simile as a starting point is one way a writer might craft an original one.

Senses used

The familiar version

Mostly the look of ice, a picture readers have seen many times

The crafted version

Sound as well: you can hear the ice cracking

Extra detail

The familiar version

No adjectives or extra detail

The crafted version

The adjectives “thin” and “grey” add detail

Originality

The familiar version

Gets the idea across, but isn’t original and doesn’t show off creativity

The crafted version

Feels like this writer’s own comparison

Imagery for the reader

The familiar version

A clear but ordinary image

The crafted version

A sharper, more evocative image, and one that suggests something about to give way

English · Writing fiction

Find the line that breaks the mood

This invented opening is meant to feel tense. One line does not fit that atmosphere. Which one?

A student’s draft — which line goes wrong?

The bus shelter was cold, and the rain drummed on its roof like impatient fingers.
Ellie sat at one end of the bench. Dan sat at the other.
“You told her,” Ellie said. “You promised you wouldn’t—”
“It wasn’t like that,” Dan snapped, cutting across her.
Ellie grinned and leaned back, swinging her legs.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t.” Her voice cracked in the quiet.
Between them, the gap on the bench stayed empty.

English · Writing fiction

Your turn: write the opening

Two characters are waiting outside the head teacher’s office. They used to be best friends, and something has gone wrong between them. Write the opening of this story in about six to eight short sentences, aiming for an atmosphere of tension. Use one original simile, a short piece of dialogue where one character cuts the other off and body language shows the tension, and one image that you repeat as a motif. When you have finished, read it back and ask whether every detail creates the effect you want. [5 marks]

Your answer

0 words · your answer stays on this page and is not sent anywhere.

The mark scheme

An original simile that compares two unlike things using like or as, and is not a familiar, overused one. (1 mark)
Dialogue with body language (a facial expression or gesture) that fits tension. (1 mark)
An uneven balance of lines, such as one character cutting the other off or talking over them. (1 mark)
An image repeated at least twice, working as a motif for a feeling such as distance and separation. (1 mark)
Every detail fits the same atmosphere, with nothing (such as a grin) clashing with the tension. (1 mark)

Model answer

The corridor smelled of floor polish and waiting. Ben sat at one end of the bench, Priya at the other, with a gap of bare wood between them. The silence stretched like a thin rubber band about to snap. “I only said—” Priya began. “Don’t.” Ben stared at his shoes, jaw tight. “You could at least look at—” “Why would I?” Priya’s hands twisted in her lap. Ben’s eyes flicked to the gap, then away. Neither of them moved to close it.

Decide the feeling first. Then choose a simile, some dialogue and a repeated image that all point the same way.

WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED

A quick recap of today's lesson.

Set the mood before anything has happened

What you need to know

The opening of a story is called the exposition. It sets up the setting, the characters and the atmosphere.
An opening isn’t only for introducing characters and backstories. It builds atmosphere and might foreshadow the central conflict.
Have a goA classmate says “Mia was twelve, had two brothers and lived in Leeds” is a brilliant opening because it tells you everything. What big job is it missing?
Building an atmosphere, and maybe hinting at the central conflict.
An opening isn’t only for introducing characters and backstories; it also builds atmosphere and might foreshadow the central conflict.
Atmosphere is the overall mood of a story or poem. To create it, a writer might use similes, dialogue and motifs.
A simile compares two unlike things using like or as, and can create evocative or emphatic imagery.
Similes can easily become clichés. An original one might start from an old simile, use a sense beyond sight and add adjectives.
Have a go“He was as brave as a lion” is a very familiar simile. Add one sound or touch detail to start making it more original.
For example: “as brave as a lion with a roar that rattles the cage bars”.
Starting from an existing simile and adding a sense beyond sight (here, sound) is one way to craft an original simile.
Dialogue is a conversation between characters, and it can show the relationship between them.
Often the most effective dialogue comes from body language and the balance of lines, not only the words exchanged.
An uneven balance, such as one character cutting the other off or talking over them, can show tension.
Have a goWhich shows more tension? A: “Hi.” “Hi.” B: “I just wanted to—” “Don’t.”
B, because the second speaker cuts the first one off.
An uneven balance of lines, such as one character cutting the other off, can show tension between characters.
A motif is a repeated image, object, sound or phrase. A repeated image can stand for a feeling, like distance and separation.
Every detail must fit the feeling, so positive body language wouldn’t suit tension. Then read it back and check the effect.

The big picture

The opening of a story is called the exposition. It sets up the setting, characters and atmosphere, and it might foreshadow the central conflict. To build a tense atmosphere, a writer might use an original simile, dialogue shaped by body language and uneven lines, and a repeated image as a motif. Then they read it back to check that every detail fits.

Key points

1Decide the feeling first, then choose a simile, dialogue and repeated image that all point the same way.

2The exposition sets up setting, characters and atmosphere, and might foreshadow the central conflict.

3Similes can easily become clichés. Start from an old one, add a sense beyond sight and add detail.

4Body language and an uneven balance of lines can show tension in dialogue.

5A repeated image can work as a motif for a feeling such as distance and separation.

6Read it back: does every detail create the effect you want?

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Worked example

Problem

Plan an opening for this scene: two sisters on a station platform. One is leaving, and they argued last night. You want an atmosphere of tension. Plan it before you write it.

⚠ Watch out

Thinking an opening is just a list of who the characters are and what happened to them. It also builds atmosphere, and one off-mood detail, like a grin in a tense scene, can break it.

🧠

Memory hook

One feeling, three tools: simile, dialogue, motif. Then read it back.

✓

Check yourself

Pick a feeling, say tension. Name one simile idea, one gesture and one repeated image that would all fit it. Does anything clash?

Flashcards

(12)

What is the exposition?

The part of a story that sets up the setting, characters and atmosphere. When you write the opening, you are writing the exposition.

Is the exposition only for introducing characters and backstories?

No. It builds up atmosphere, sets up emotion and might foreshadow what the central conflict is going to be.

What is atmosphere, and what might create it?

The overall mood of a story or poem. A writer might use similes, dialogue and motifs to create it.

What is a simile?

A figure of speech comparing two unlike things using like or as. It can create evocative or emphatic imagery.

Why do similes need care?

They can easily become clichés: overused, effective at getting the idea across, but not original and not showing off creativity.

How might you craft an original simile?

Start from an existing simile, think about senses other than sight, and add extra detail such as adjectives.

Besides the words spoken, what makes dialogue effective?

Body language (facial expressions and gestures) and the balance of the lines between the characters.

How can dialogue show tension?

With an uneven balance of lines, for example one character cutting the other off or talking over them.

What is a motif?

An object, image, sound or phrase that is repeated throughout a story and relates to its themes.

How might a writer make a motif stand for an emotion?

Think about which colours or objects symbolise it. A repeated image can represent a feeling such as distance and separation.

What does a cohesive atmosphere need from details like body language?

They must fit the emotion you want. Positive body language would not fit an atmosphere of tension.

What should a writer do after writing an opening?

Read back over it and think about whether it is creating the effect they want.

Tap any card to flip it, or use Study as deck to go through them one at a time. In the full lesson these run as a spaced-repetition deck — you rate each card Hard, Good or Easy and the tricky ones keep coming back until they stick.

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Feel the mood, then find what made it

What is an opening actually for?

Find the line that breaks the mood

Your turn: write the opening

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